T’was the night before Christmas, at the UK Coffey house.
Everyone was jolly, even my ba-humbug spouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care…
In the hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The kitties were nestled all snug under the tree,
Still standing, a miracle, with those mischievous three
And the guys in their short sleeves and I in my fleece,
Happy with our visions of Santa, goodies and world peace.
When out in the driveway there arose such a clatter,
I sprang (ok ambled) from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, I flew like a flash, tore back the curtain
And straightened my sash (‘World’s Best Mom’…it does say)
The moon gleamed on the driveway still wet from the last rain
Reflected on my wreath as a 50 mph gust blew it away.
When what do my wondering eyes to appear…
But some miniature dachshund dressed up like reindeer!
With little old walkers, so lively and quick…
I knew in a moment it was our neighbors, Debbie and Nick.
With a little plastic bag, to toss in the bin
(so no one has to tread where your pooch has been)
More rapid than eagles these dachshunds they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them some names!
“Now Dachshunds! Now stop it! You weasels! You Pests!
Have mercy! My goodness- is bacon on your breath?
To the top of the porch, to the top of my wall
Now gnash away, gnash away! (Hope I don’t fall!)
The grandparents, so lovey, we Skyped with their heads,
As they tried to convince sugared-up grandkids into beds.
The Bean soundly sleeping, a cat draped across his head;
Leaving us, his parents, with the time we most dread.
To put together those toys pulled out from under beds.
Those stinkin’ Elves – I’m not well chuffed (meaning happy)
We need fluent *Chinese to assemble this stuff! (*No harm meant…)
Hours they passed and too much coffee consumed
Morning just breaking - we were certainly doomed!
The last screw was tightened, all the decals were stuck.
Oh D@mn! wouldn’t you know it?
I forgot that one flamin’ recycling truck!
On my wish list, all I needed, was just a bit of snow
But the forecast is rain, this is England you know.
Thinking about all the family this holiday we’ll miss
Sending you all a huge Christmas kiss!
Christmas this year is different for our family of three
Wishing all of our kindred could be here, you see.
It warms me to know we sleep underneath the same sky
(Oh good grief, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.)
Warm holiday wishes, and a ride on Santa’s sleigh….
A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL….FROM THE COFFEY’S UK!!!!!