Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Not so much a bang but a whimper

Well we certainly know how to start off our summer vacation! Bean woke up this morning with a raging head cold. I hate to admit this, but I gave it to him. I seriously thought it was a severe allergy attack. I was mistaken. Heaven forbid that the Hubs get a cold, too. Infections Disease will have to quarantine the house because no human alive will have ever suffered with an aliment as life threatening as the medical anomaly the Hubs has contracted. So I will spend the day making sure the Bean is hydrated and disinfecting every surface in the house. 

For his last day of school on Friday the Hubs and I took him to the beach! This time we went to Hunstanton Beach. The recent temperatures were in the 80's, so we thought this would be a terrific time to go to the beach on a sunny day before the rest of the children started their term break as well. Let me just say that this beach is awesome, so awesome that my child walked right thought the rides at the pavilion to get to the sand and surf.

We had a wonderful time at the beach, and this time there was actually surf and sand. The water was kind of warm, and the Bean really enjoyed 'swimming'. I am guessing the chilly water was one of the factors leading to his illness, but you try keeping a kid out of the water and let me know how that works out for you. I am thinking that I need to start a campaign to educate the general populace here about sunscreen. There were a lot of people who wound't feel so hot when the sun went down. More like broiled.

Speaking of school, or rather the end of term, I have some mildly exciting news to report. His reception teacher, along with the upcoming term teacher, made the decision to promote Bean to the 1st year class along with his peers. They felt that keeping him in reception for another term would be detrimental to his development and his psyche. Basically, he would be bored and they predicted this would cause more behavior problems in the long run rather than just promoting him. He is very bright and is either on par with his expected learning achievements or surpassing certain expectations for his age. For example, he is already reading at a 1st years ability and his spacial and engineering concepts are off the charts.

The pseudo bad news is that he does extremely well with one-to-one support. He needs an adult to help him transition and keep him focused on the task at hand. The school has assembly every morning. His first assembly he couldn't stay for more than five minutes, but by the end of term he was able to sit for a whopping hour and a half! However, in the 1st year class, he will not have access to one-to-one support. They have acknowledged this is because of funding. So they are intentionally setting Bean up to fail so they can show a need for extra funding to support him. He will have to show extreme behavior before the school can make the case for support funding.  I have mixed feelings about this plan. I understand the rational behind it, but I want to do whatever I can in the meantime to avoid sending Bean to school, fully aware of his limitations, to be miserable.  

I filled out paperwork in May, so here in July, I finally got my notice of 'appointment time' for the local community services. This was after the school repeatedly contacted the SSC via phone calls, bi-weekly email inquiries, and numerous follow up letters. I have to say, the school has really taken up the charge to get Bean the help he needs. It probably didn't hurt that they didn't want me as public enemy #1, either. I can be pretty mean when it comes to the Bean. So I am strangely optimistic about this appointment.

It has also helped that one of the Hub's coworkers just had one of his twin girls diagnosed as being on the moderate scale of Autistic behavior. I think this helped us realize that Bean's diagnosis wasn't caused by anything we did. After all, the first thing you do when you learn your child is 'on the spectrum' is try to find out what you did to 'make this happen'. Was it the peanut butter I ate by the gallon while I was pregnant? Was it the undue amount of stress caused by the shitty company I worked for at the time? I felt more to blame because I was the vessel that carried the little dude for 9 months. Eventually you just get on with life as you know it. Normal is just a cycle on your washing machine. I also felt guilty for having the opinion that some parents welcomed a diagnosis so they wouldn't have to actually parent their child or to have an excuse for bad behavior. "Yes, I know little Barney has ASD, but if he doesn't stop jumping on my sofa like a bouncy castle I am going to loose my cookies. Now put down your wine and parent."

We all live and learn. Bean amazes me ever day with the stuff he comes up with. Last night, around 11 pm, I found him in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, "Bear needed to make a poo poo." After making certain that he was not the one who needed to sit in the business chair, I took him back to bed. He snuggled up to me and said, "Mom, I am a bit lonely." I didn't think it was possible to have your heart melt and break simultaneously. So I snuggled him up, kissed his head, and we talked about the strange and wondrous topics rolling around in his head. I sang a lullaby and shed a tear as I lay in the dark and listened to the rhythmic breathing of my sleeping Bean.

He is my joy and a blessing in technicolor. He is my Bean, and I am his Mum. Not the end of the story -just the beginning.

Until next time,

Lisa









Sunday, July 21, 2013

Cambridge...on a sunny day!

Well I must admit I am suffering a bit from a company hangover. Sure it's nice to have my house back, but not the doldrums after the frenzy of excitement. I will remedy my pain with a bit about our visit to Cambridge.

This is the fourth time I'd been to Cambridge. I have failed to document the first ever visit to Cambridge. Perhaps I have blocked it out of my mind. Let me set the scene for you. It was March, and it was cold and snowing. The cold wasn't so much out of character for England at that time of year, but the snow was a bit of an anomaly. Several other people were just starting new jobs here also, so the bosses thought it would be a good idea for the newcomers to meet the tenured people. Most of the 'seasoned' professionals, it was rumored, lived in Cambridge and so the group settled on Jamie's Italian restaurant. This is a restaurant owned by the much-famed Jamie Oliver who has his own cooking show and numerous cook books.

We map the restaurant on the GPS and jump into our "Carl's Automatics" rental and headed toward Cambridge. Well, this is where the fun started. Or rather, the lack of fun. Unbeknownst to us first time Cambridge drivers, the maze of one-way streets and major thoroughfares are blocked to vehicular traffic. When I say blocked, what I really mean is that unless you are driving a bus, or are a taxi with a special device in your car, huge bollards rise up from the streets and prevent you from entering the city. Here is a spiffy video illustrating the rising bollards by The Nodding Cat Channel. The child's piano playing in the background is just psycho enough to make you want to poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick. Much like driving in Cambridge.

Here is what a bollard can do to your car, after hearing the phrase 'Dude, I think I can make it':


So, we're driving along, following our GPS and I just happen to look up and said, "Hey, what's that rising out of the street?" Then came the cursing and screeching of breaks. The little lady in the GPS refused to reroute us. We ended up driving in circles for about 15-20 minutes before swerving to miss a biker and hitting the curb rather sharply which resulted in a flat tire. Nice.

However, there was a can of fix-a-flat in the trunk. That would have been nice, but it did not work. So we ended up limping the car to a bus turn-off and attempted to change the tire. No problem, the Hubs has changed many a tire in his day. True to Murphy's Law, one of the lug nuts was a 'locking' lug nut and the special wrench was not in the trunk. We phoned 'Carl' whose business card claimed to have '24 hour assistance'. Apparently not. To make a long story short, we ended up leaving the car at Jesus Green and getting a cab to the restaurant. We show up 45 minutes late and the Hubs looked like he'd just left his shift at Goober's garage. His knuckles were busted and his hands were covered in grease.

To add insult to injury, the food was meh. I like Italian, but I do have a bit of a problem paying an absorbent amount for pasta I can cook at home for a fraction of the price. Jamie would have been displeased. There is nothing fantastic about 'squid ink pasta' if the sauce is rubbish and the scallops were shaved paper thin. The risotto dish I had that night isn't on the menu anymore. Want more insult? The other coworkers, who lived in Cambridge, didn't bother to show up for the event. Apparently, it was too cold and snowy for them.

The only break we caught that evening was one of our dinner companions had a 'saloon' (Sedan) (also from Carl's Automatics) and could give the three of us a ride back home.

So my first trip to Cambridge was not a good first impression. However, I do believe in second chances. This trip to Cambridge we would drive to the Cambridge Park and Ride. Much better. You park your car (duh) and a double decker bus takes you into the heart of the city. Armed with this brilliant knowledge, we wiped the slate clean and made it a point to enjoy Cambridge with our out of town guest. She just graduated with her Masters in English, so Cambridge was definitely on her list.

After popping into a few bookstores we stopped to enjoy the Cambridge Market. The market has tons of booths. You can find all sorts of food, from German wienerschnitzel to Asian noodle bowls. There is always fresh produce, flowers, and local cheese (I never understood why people would choose cheese as a 'dessert' until I tasted local cheese. Now I know.), clothing, tourist trappings, old vinyl records and books.   I bought some gummy worms and sour bears from the candy vendor. He had just about every kind of candy imaginable. This was the Bean's favorite stop.

We just had to experience 'Punting on the Camb'. Which has nothing to do with football, actually. Punting is this:


A long, gondola-type boat you propel with a long pole. You can 'DIY' or you can hire a guide to take you down the River Cambs. Becky and I opted for the latter.Our boat-mates were Jenna and her daughter Daffodil. I feel the need to note this because their heads were in almost every single photo I/we took.

Here is our tour guide, Patrick:


He was fantastic. He was especially excited to learn we were American and amazed when I asked if we would be passing the 'Mathematical Bridge' and the 'Bridge of Sighs', because these bridges are the prints I have from the artist I referenced earlier in a post. I 'declare' having the least little bit of a southern accent will get you pretty much anything you want.

The Mathematical Bridge, he informed us, appears to be fashioned from curved wood, but all the beams used to construct the bridge are, in fact, straight. And the Bridge of Sighs gets its name from the last sigh prisoners would expel on their way to execution.

Here is the Mathematical Bridge:

And the Bridge of Sighs:


This is a must-do! We had a great time and learned a great deal about Cambridge, the architecture and the history. We probably got really lucky- there were just the four of us in the boat.

From there we ventured into the town proper. Becky needed to get a strap on her purse repaired so we stopped at a leather shop. You know what's better than getting your bag repaired? Yep, getting a new leather bag. I was slightly jealous. The bag she bought was rockin'.

Here is a picture of the Bean and me outside of the leather repair shop. Yep, those are Monster Trucks resting on the end of the centuries old, stone stair rail. Those monster trucks have been everywhere. I should have a blog devoted to their impressive travels. Hum, maybe next.

We wound down our day by meandering through the 'The Backs', which refers to the backs of the colleges. Becky and I met up with the guys after our Punting in the Barron of Beef. After a local pint, we headed back to the bus stop to catch a ride back to the Park and Ride lot.

I wish I could think of a more exciting way to end my post, but it really was a relaxing and low-key kind of day. The weather was perfect, and, since we took our trip on "Furlough Friday", it was not super crowded.

OK Cambridge, I've forgiven you.

Until next post!!

Lisa








Monday, July 15, 2013

Girls Trip to England

I know I was going to post an outrageous story about my first girlfriend's weekend to London, but I must admit it wasn't too 'Girls Gone Wild'. Don't get me wrong, we had a great time, but I broke my first rule: Proper Planning Prevents Future F-ups (also known as the "Pettys Method" after my dear friend, Karl).

We knew we were going to London, but that's where the planning stopped. I told her to let me know what she really wanted to see and do on her trip here and her answer was 'everything'. We couldn't decide what to do first, so in a frenzy of excitement- we ended up just walking and walking and walking. I'm not complaining. I got to see a ton of London that I had never seen before. At one point her 'Fitbit' pedometer started smoking. That may have been the 86 degree temperatures or all the miles we clocked, but all I know for sure is we walked a lot.

We stayed at the fabulous Twickingham Mariott, which is prone to cause arousal if you are into rugby. Here is me at the bronze statue in front of the complex:

Yea, these folks like some rugby. There are rooms in this complex that have a birds eye view of the arena from your hotel room. Our room afforded us a fantastic view of Twickingham and the rooftop terrace over the porte cochere. The room was lovingly paid for with redeemed points from Becky's hubs.  I should have taken a picture of the view, but exhaustion does not begin to explain the level of tired we were when we got to our accommodations that evening.

I would like to take the opportunity to mention that 86 degrees is HOT for London. There was more pasty, white flesh than should be legally permissible. And that was just my legs. The warm weather brought out locals and tourists alike. One of my favorite sports is people watching. The rumor is that fashion trends start in the UK and trickle over to the states. I hate to report that one trend this year is to cut off your jean shorts so short that your cheeks are exposed. Not a big fan of this look. I just don't think you should be allowed in public with your cheeks hanging out- and some of those cheeks were hanging out. I kept humming 'do your ears (cheeks) hang low'. I may be an old fashioned girl, but I believe your shorts should be longer than your fanny...and yes, I mean that fanny. (For you first time readers, here, a 'fanny' is not your bottom. It is not a hands-free, waist-storage pack used by travelers. It is slang for 'girl parts'.)

One cool thing to happen while we were in London was tennis player Andy Murray ended a 77 year wait for England to win the Wimbledon Men's title. The last time a Brit (male) won the trophy was in 1936. We were on the River Cruise. Here is Andy Murray on the jumbo-tron as we sailed past:



If you spot the yellow tent on the right side of the picture, you will see a chap in a white hat and shirt. That would be Andy Murray during the final match. When he scored the final match point, the crowd erupted and so did the whole of England. It was pretty darn cool to be there for such a historical moment in British history, even if he is a Scotsman. They'll take it!

The London Cruise was awesome. The tour guide was funny and pointed out several highlights along the Thames River. Plus there was seating and a constant breeze.

Here is the actual London Bridge. We arrived just in time to see the bridge open up to let a boat pass through. That was neat-o.

We skipped going up in the London Eye. Quite frankly, it was too hot to be crammed into a pod with 40+ people. I am not a big fan of crowds and small spaces freak me out, so we were content to snap a few shots as we cruised by. Here is the London Eye:



Here is me at Ben Ben:


Sunday we had much better luck. We went to the fabulous Camden Markets in North London. That was a sight to behold. Way too many people for my comfort level, most with out the knowledge of deodorant, but I persevered. I bought a fantastic new handbag, so it was worth the stench. We use USD on base and GBP on the economy, so I needed a bag that had easily accessible pockets for both.  I also like the hands-free bonus of a messenger bag style for looking through clothes racks and Bean wrangling.

We walked, much to my poor feet's dismay, to the Tower of London and The Globe before we decided to call it a day and head back to King's Cross station to catch the train back to our little village. However, we stopped and had a few pints which ultimately made our trek back to the tube station much more bearable.



These are the sculpture lions guarding the poor sots who were waiting to be executed following their brief stay at The Tower of London. These were pretty cool. The lions were fashioned out of mesh fence and the detail was astonishing.

I am amazed at all the history London encompasses. I find it baffling that the locals walk around seemingly oblivious to the plethora of history surrounding them. Especially since the good ol' US of A just celebrated her 237th birthday. It is very humbling to sit in a pub that has been serving cask-drawl ale for centuries and walk the same cobblestone streets as kings and queens once trod.

There is so much to see and so much I still haven't seen, that, I hope, when my friend makes her second trip to visit, with the family in tow, that I will be able to guide them around Rick Steves style.

Now I have to go bake brownies for the Bean's teaching staff. This Friday is his last day of school for the term. I am looking forward to having seven weeks off with my little dude. I am sure we will find some mischief to get into. I see some swim lessons and weekend camping trips in my future.

Next post? Cambridge!

 









Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Coming up for air

Well, since my last post I have received a ton of support from friends and family! Apparently, I appear to be holding it all together in spite of the mess I think I am. I referred to my last post as 'verbally vomiting' and since then I feel much better. It's easy to forget that no matter if you haven't talked to someone in ten years, or if you just talked to them yesterday, a friend will always think of you and wish you well. The new skill I am try to master is to accept help in the manner in which its given. Learn to trust, learn to forgive and learn to move on.

It's funny how people pop up just when you need them.

I just had my first house guests this past weekend. My house is in reasonably decent shape for someone who has just been here a scant four months. The Hub's cousin, his wife and daughter came to stay with us. We had not visited with them for seven years. It was very good to see them and now I have family semi-close by. Tara made me promise to call her before I hit 'crisis mode' in the future and that she would be happy to be my sounding board especially since we are in the same time zone.  She's also familiar with some of the different school systems and can answer any questions, however daft, and set me on the right track. Tara also has a wicked sense of humor and I find sarcasm strangely comforting.

Life is much more level a the moment. I finally bullied the teacher and the special needs coordinator into letting Bean attend first thing in the morning. (There are only four weeks left of term, but I picked my battle.)I reasoned that he would be involved in the actual school routine and not just coming in at the end of the day when the class is participating in free play time. The change in his behavior is short of a miracle. Well, to them maybe. To me, it was pretty common sense. It was a big deal for the Bean to be able to walk with his classmates and peers to school and line up with all the other kids saying good-bye to their Mums. It made him feel like part of the group and not the outcast who can only attend the late part of the day. He is sitting for lesson, attending assembly and his tantrums and mood swings have settled down. I also got to witness what a 'lady's man' he is already. Yea, apparently his social skills in that respect are top notch.

However, his 'openers' need a little work. We were at the playground the other morning when a little girl and her grandpa came to play as well. They introduced themselves and then Bean followed up with, 'Do you like spiders?' Smooth - like butter. Meh, we'll let that go for now.

I will have another house guest landing this Thursday (Eek! That's tomorrow!) My first 'American' visitor. It promises to be a ton of fun. I get to play tourist and the 'warden' has even granted me a night away in London.  Since Becky is allergic to cats, this will be a good trial run for the in-laws visit next Spring. I have dusted, vacuumed, washed bedding and sealed off the premises to keep the cat hair accumulation to a minimum. But in true cat fashion, every time I go open the door, she zooms into the room like I have open cans of tuna, empty boxes and catnip tossed everywhere. It doesn't help that she thinks I bought the vintage telephone table just for her leisure. Here is what a telephone table looks like, in fact it looks exactly like the one in my guest room:



Thank you British Heart Foundation Furniture and Electrical Store. I have found some really cool stuff there and at very reasonable prices. My coffee table is another sweet deal I found there, too. I would really recommend frequenting thrift shops and local charity shops for a plethora of shopping needs. So far, we have managed to bag two beautifully framed countryside prints and two signed and numbered prints of bridges in Cambridge. Here's the artist's website. Not to mention the wealth of books,  pottery, and one slightly used scooter. The scooter in the storefront of the sports store adjacent to the charity shop where we purchased Bean's new wheels (for four pounds fifty, mind you) was seventy-five pounds. The scooter had some nicks and scratches, but nothing worse than what the Bean would do in an average afternoon.

So now I am off to the base to get some necessities at the Commissary. I have been stoked since I found out  that the Commissary will take coupons up to six months out of date. Even more excited that the Family Readiness Center on base has tons of coupons for the taking- you just have to sift through to see which ones you will actually use. The last time I went to the FRC to get the coupons they were closed. I was bummed. I took my binder and everything. My plan was let Bean play while I plowed through the mountain of coupons.  I am not one of those coupon divas - but I do feel that every little bit helps and if you have a coupon for something you know you're going to buy anyway then it's a win-win.

Next post will probably have incriminating photos of my overnight stay in London. It will be titled: "What to do in London when you're childless and husband-less for the first time in five years". OK that may be a bit wordy, but you get the point.

Cheers!