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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Not so much a bang but a whimper

Well we certainly know how to start off our summer vacation! Bean woke up this morning with a raging head cold. I hate to admit this, but I gave it to him. I seriously thought it was a severe allergy attack. I was mistaken. Heaven forbid that the Hubs get a cold, too. Infections Disease will have to quarantine the house because no human alive will have ever suffered with an aliment as life threatening as the medical anomaly the Hubs has contracted. So I will spend the day making sure the Bean is hydrated and disinfecting every surface in the house. 

For his last day of school on Friday the Hubs and I took him to the beach! This time we went to Hunstanton Beach. The recent temperatures were in the 80's, so we thought this would be a terrific time to go to the beach on a sunny day before the rest of the children started their term break as well. Let me just say that this beach is awesome, so awesome that my child walked right thought the rides at the pavilion to get to the sand and surf.

We had a wonderful time at the beach, and this time there was actually surf and sand. The water was kind of warm, and the Bean really enjoyed 'swimming'. I am guessing the chilly water was one of the factors leading to his illness, but you try keeping a kid out of the water and let me know how that works out for you. I am thinking that I need to start a campaign to educate the general populace here about sunscreen. There were a lot of people who wound't feel so hot when the sun went down. More like broiled.

Speaking of school, or rather the end of term, I have some mildly exciting news to report. His reception teacher, along with the upcoming term teacher, made the decision to promote Bean to the 1st year class along with his peers. They felt that keeping him in reception for another term would be detrimental to his development and his psyche. Basically, he would be bored and they predicted this would cause more behavior problems in the long run rather than just promoting him. He is very bright and is either on par with his expected learning achievements or surpassing certain expectations for his age. For example, he is already reading at a 1st years ability and his spacial and engineering concepts are off the charts.

The pseudo bad news is that he does extremely well with one-to-one support. He needs an adult to help him transition and keep him focused on the task at hand. The school has assembly every morning. His first assembly he couldn't stay for more than five minutes, but by the end of term he was able to sit for a whopping hour and a half! However, in the 1st year class, he will not have access to one-to-one support. They have acknowledged this is because of funding. So they are intentionally setting Bean up to fail so they can show a need for extra funding to support him. He will have to show extreme behavior before the school can make the case for support funding.  I have mixed feelings about this plan. I understand the rational behind it, but I want to do whatever I can in the meantime to avoid sending Bean to school, fully aware of his limitations, to be miserable.  

I filled out paperwork in May, so here in July, I finally got my notice of 'appointment time' for the local community services. This was after the school repeatedly contacted the SSC via phone calls, bi-weekly email inquiries, and numerous follow up letters. I have to say, the school has really taken up the charge to get Bean the help he needs. It probably didn't hurt that they didn't want me as public enemy #1, either. I can be pretty mean when it comes to the Bean. So I am strangely optimistic about this appointment.

It has also helped that one of the Hub's coworkers just had one of his twin girls diagnosed as being on the moderate scale of Autistic behavior. I think this helped us realize that Bean's diagnosis wasn't caused by anything we did. After all, the first thing you do when you learn your child is 'on the spectrum' is try to find out what you did to 'make this happen'. Was it the peanut butter I ate by the gallon while I was pregnant? Was it the undue amount of stress caused by the shitty company I worked for at the time? I felt more to blame because I was the vessel that carried the little dude for 9 months. Eventually you just get on with life as you know it. Normal is just a cycle on your washing machine. I also felt guilty for having the opinion that some parents welcomed a diagnosis so they wouldn't have to actually parent their child or to have an excuse for bad behavior. "Yes, I know little Barney has ASD, but if he doesn't stop jumping on my sofa like a bouncy castle I am going to loose my cookies. Now put down your wine and parent."

We all live and learn. Bean amazes me ever day with the stuff he comes up with. Last night, around 11 pm, I found him in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, "Bear needed to make a poo poo." After making certain that he was not the one who needed to sit in the business chair, I took him back to bed. He snuggled up to me and said, "Mom, I am a bit lonely." I didn't think it was possible to have your heart melt and break simultaneously. So I snuggled him up, kissed his head, and we talked about the strange and wondrous topics rolling around in his head. I sang a lullaby and shed a tear as I lay in the dark and listened to the rhythmic breathing of my sleeping Bean.

He is my joy and a blessing in technicolor. He is my Bean, and I am his Mum. Not the end of the story -just the beginning.

Until next time,

Lisa









1 comment:

  1. Lisa, You're doing a great job as a parent. Love the blog too! But most of all, I love you, Logan, and Chris -- hugs to all.

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